The weather forecast said we would get "a dusting up to an inch" of snow. We woke up to five inches of new snow and temps in the low 20s. After a half hour of digging, shoveling, and car-warming (including the seat warmers, please), I was ready to call She Who Must Be Obeyed from her Fortress of Warmth (our house) so that we could vote in Michigan’s primary. 

Arriving at 9:15, there were a few people in line but the turnout so far has been embarrassingly light. We were voters 50 and 51 (Michigan’s voting machines tally the number of voters in each precinct). Estimates are that only 20% of registered voters will make the slog out to precinct stations. So sad. Duncan will vote this afternoon. It is the first time he has been old enough to vote. The Dems slapped Michigan voters in the face (and kicked them a bit lower on the body) by disenfranchising the entire state. All Democrat contenders removed themselves from the ballot except for…. wait for it…. Hillary. She will claim victory later today, regardless of the facts. Democrats can come in and declare themselves Republican and vote in that primary instead and many are expected to do that, most of them voting for McCain so that Romney will be knocked out of the race.

Why, oh why, can’t we have a national primary day? Maybe even have it in two stages: all 50 states vote on one day and then we vote again a month later for one of the top three from each party. Of course, that would rob us of all that wonderful TV footage of candidates flipping pancakes in New Hampshire but I, for one, am ready to sacrifice and do without seeing John Edwards eat a hotdog.

There is a Paradise, Michigan — a tiny burgh in the Upper Peninsula that stays snowbound much of the winter. About an hour away from me is Hell, Michigan — a crossroads that has a souvenir shop, a gas station, and a post office. It got its name, the story goes, from Revenue agents who kept having to go in there and remove moonshiners. I once did a seminar at Brighton and diverted so that I would drive home via Hell. I walked into my house, handed She Who Must Be Obeyed the check and said, "I went through hell to bring this to you." It is fun to talk about the many times Hell freezes over, too. In mid-summer, when we get a rare heat wave, the radio stations will often announce that in Hell it is 90 and in Paradise it is 68. Sometimes they’ll add, "and in Detroit it is 95 which makes it officially hotter than Hell."

Hey, in the nation’s most dangerous city, we have to take our laughs where we find them. Kami and I live between Detroit (FBI’s #1 most dangerous city) and Flint (#3). We leave our windows open a lot so the bullets don’t break them as they pass through. Other than that, it is lovely in the spring when the gangs come out wearing their new colors. You don’t want to miss that.

WARNING: Non-Politically Correct Science Content –

A major study by Emory University (Atlanta, Georgia) and reported in New Scientist this week concludes that genetic studies have burst another anti-European, Politically Correct notion. For decades we have been told that Columbus and Europeans brought syphilis with them when they arrived and spread that disease among the innocent natives, wiping them out in the process. Due to the magic and wonder of DNA, genetic anthropology, and real gosh-darn science we can now trace syphilis back to… Guyana. When Columbus and his sailors reached there, they were syphilis free. When they left, they carried the illness with them back home to Europe. 

I don’t expect this to change anything. You will still have editors at the San Jose Mercury newspaper saying that AIDS and crack were developed in CIA laboratories as a way for white people to kill minorities and you will still have people protesting Columbus as the carrier of genocidal diseases to the Americas. But for those of us who actually like science and facts… isn’t another falling pillar of political correctness a beautiful thing to behold? Ah, sweet, sweet music.

Now, back to shoveling snow during our global warming emergency. Ahem.