Maybe this blog won’t apply to you right now, but it probably will one day. You might want to clip and save it. I am writing it as a public service for all parents to pass on to their kids. Here it is:

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Do you remember when you were a kid and your parent’s birthday, anniversary, or Christmas was coming up? You really wanted to buy your parent something very nice, very special. Perhaps you’d outgrown the homemade cards and gifts made out of pipe cleaners but you were still a decade or so away from having a job that put money in your pocket. Sometimes another relative would slip you some money but it was never enough to allow you to buy them that house or car you really wanted to surprise them with. Other relatives might buy something and put your name on the card and say "It’s from all of us!" and, while you deeply appreciated the credit, you felt like a fraud. You wanted to do something big, something special, maybe even something outrageous that would blow your parent’s socks off and show them how much you loved them.

And now? Now you have a job. You have money. And you want to buy me something for my birthday or Christmas. You might have sniffed around a bit, trying to see what I wanted. You probably asked my wife if I’d been hinting about something I’d seen on TV or in the Sunday ads.

Okay…first of all, you need to know that I am touched. I really am! I know that you love me and I know you want to surprise me with something cool. The thing is…when I tell you that I don’t really want or need anything, I’m not lying. If there is a thing out there that I want, I am at the stage of life where I just go get it or I save for it or I forget about it and move on to something else.

My house is full. I have things in my house I haven’t used in years. I have books I read once and then moved with me from house to house over the last decade or two. I have clothes that I haven’t put on and others than have been worn once or twice. I have all the golf balls and putting helpers I can use. THINGS aren’t a big deal to me. Twenty years ago? Wow, it was different then. I was excited to open up packages at Christmas and the idea of getting more stuff on my birthday was very, very cool. But that was then.

Now? The most fun I have today is when I buy for you. I know that you feel awkward when I give things to you and you don’t have much to give in return. Don’t feel that way because it’s not true. What I’m about to tell you is going to be very, very hard to believe. I know, because when my parents told me, I didn’t believe them. Now that I’m older, I know it’s true.

What I really want for Christmas is to see you again, to hear your voice in my house. If you can’t come, I understand, but you can call. I know that I don’t talk much on the phone, but the fact that you called fills something in my heart that nothing else can. You see, the happiest days of my life were those days when we would walk hand in hand or when you’d come over with some toy and want me to play with you. For a lot of years, that was the way I lived my life — in orbit around you. Now, you’ve spun off into another orbit — and that’s the way it’s supposed to be — and I often find myself sitting on my couch or standing in the middle of my living room wondering… what now?

When my kids make the effort to call and — yes! — come over to spend part of Christmas or a birthday or whatever, that is the greatest present I could ever get. I might still sit on the couch most of the time and there may be times I don’t seem tuned in, but don’t let that fool you. Your presence is WAY better than a lavish gift. If I seem too quiet, it may be because I know you aren’t my little kid anymore and I don’t know how to act around you. Or, it may be because I am remembering all those wonderful years when you played, sang, worked, cried, and laughed around my house. I am being filled with warmth and joy because I remember that we had that time together … and marvelling that you have chosen to be with me again on my special day.

I think that’s why people are so excited to be grandparents. They know that, once again, a little one will fly into their lives and orbit them with questions and problems and ideas and jokes and…. life.That is also why parents and grandparents have the reputation of over-buying gifts for their kids. It is one more way to stay connected to them as they spin further and further away into their own lives.

You’ll not believe or understand it until you get some more years on you but at least trust me when I say… don’t buy me a thing. Not. One. Thing. Come see me, smile at me, and eat at my table once again. Seeing you gives me hope and peace. It makes me feel special, important, and loved. And you can’t buy that at the mall.