When I was a kid we didn’t "do" Halloween. Dad didn’t believe in celebrating any holidays. He was convinced all of them — especially any that had a connection, regardless of how oblique or tenuous with Catholics — were evil. While Christmas was the worst of them (in his mind), Halloween came right behind Easter to fill out the Trinity of Evil Days. 

In my preaching life, I’ve been asked to preach against Halloween half a dozen times; roughly the same amount of times I’ve been asked to preach sermons condemning Harry Potter. I have demurred in each instance. Perhaps I have a different way of looking at it than other preachers (like THAT could happen) but the day doesn’t bother me.

Do witches and Satanists hold it as a holy, special day? Sure, but they’re fruitcakes so who cares what they think? I refuse to let them fill in my calendar with days I need to be scared or offended. The Satanists’ god has been defeated and is going down. The witches worship nature which, in my experience, seems to be the most impersonal, capricious, and ill tempered thing they could have chosen. Neither group is showing a lot of brain activity by choosing their particular spiritual path so forgive me if I refrain from the whole "cowering in fear" or "shaking with righteous indignation" route.

The same goes for the idiots who burn things, destroy property, or dress in horrid, ghoulish costumes. I’m not afraid of them. In fact, their behavior and costume choice just makes it easier to spot them.

What about razor blades in the apples and poisoned candy? The FBI reports that there has never been an occurrence of razor blades or needles or pins in fruit or candy. Ever. Still, parents will take their kids’ candy down to the airport to get it X rayed. Congratulations on instilling a sense of fear and helplessness in your children that can only be assuaged by a trip to Big Brother. Sigh. (before you write in… yes, I always checked my kids’ candy and removed anything that had been opened or looked odd. And the chocolate. Kids shouldn’t have chocolate. Dads should eat it all immediately to protect the family. It’s like throwing yourself on an exceptionally tasty grenade. That’s my story and I’m sticking with it)

I live in a neighborhood with the World’s Cutest Kids. Halloween is a fun community event for us as the nearly endless parade of kids in sweet, cute, and fun costumes parades around from house to house. I LOVE being able to give them candy and compliment them on their cleverness. Sure, some old kids come around and that is just sad, but that’s not going to ruin my evening.

But isn’t this an evil night? It used to be and, sure, it still is in many places and in millions of hearts… but not in mine. I have taken the night and given it to Jesus. As far as I am concerned, I have taken over a part of the devil’s territory and now I spend that time sharing, smiling, and making people happy. Just as we have taken back other things that used to be pagan and given them to Jesus (wearing white at a wedding, throwing rice, tombstones, wedding rings, names of the days of the week, etc. ad nauseum) I have given this night to him and we enjoy it together.

There have been times in my life when I knew that real live witches were gathering on Halloween to pray against me. My response? Let ‘em. My God can beat up their god. In fact, He has. And He will. And if their god harms me? I was going to die anyway and, for a Christian, dying is winning just like living is winning. I refuse to be afraid. Fear is not an option.

The only thing that really offends me about Halloween? "Fun size" candy. People, "fun size" is half a pound of chocolate wrapped in more chocolate. Those half-bite sized candies are NOT fun; they are just teasers. Besides, think of all the trees that have to die because of the extra wrapping paper for those little things!

Be responsible. Save a tree. Eat the Family Sized bars. And don’t give out fruit, no name candy, or cans of hominy. If you don’t want to give out candy, give out little New Testaments, coupons to fast food outlets, or activity packs.

And take back the night for our God.