In The Religious Underground? question 189
Here is one that I think many of you will find you could have sent in…
I presently attend a very conservative church within our tribe (as you like to call it.) However, I grew up in a different tribe and was “converted” in 2004.
Yesterday a young man from my congregation called me to ask if I would help him talk to a friend of his from the local community college: “He’s really clinging to ‘once saved, always saved,’ he doesn’t think that baptism is necessary, and he thinks it’s fine to use instrumental music in worship. I thought you might be able to help because you can speak from experience.”
Now here’s the problem: I’m a “closet progressive” (by Church of Christ standards.)
When I changed tribes in 2004 I almost immediately went hard-core. I took my new-found belief system to the extreme, and for a time I became quite the Pharisee. 2008 was marked by a change of heart wherein I have come to view a number of things differently. Theologically speaking, I fall somewhere in between the kid from my church and the guy he wants me to talk to. (Truth be told, I probably have more in common with the latter.)
Thus far, I have not expressed my shifting views to anyone other than my wife – who is beginning to come to some of the same conclusions both independently and through our conversations.
I have a few questions: First, to what extent can a person disagree with his/her congregation with out being spiritually/biblically forced to associate with a different group of believers? I love the people that I go to church with dearly, but if they knew some of my private beliefs they would likely consider me lost. Second, at what point (if any) does one become dishonest for holding his views to himself? Thirdly, I was hoping that you could weigh in on the situation I described above.
I don’t think there is anything dishonest about worshiping with people with whom you have profound disagreement. Jesus seemed to pull that off, didn’t he? Think of what it would be like to be God in human form, sitting in a synagogue with Pharisees or walking in the temple precinct with Sadduccees. We know that his disciples had some weird ideas, but Jesus worshiped with them. Romans 14 tells us that we do not need to share whatever we think about this or that issue — in fact, it seems to be telling us that sharing what we think about disputable matters is not a good thing!
My general rule is: if you are able to serve God and able to worship Him, there is no reason to leave your congregation. If you cannot grow or serve the Lord where you are, you need to move on. I sincerely believe that in the vast majority of cases there is no need to move on. Let’s set up a scenario. Let’s say you were asked to teach a class and, as you did so, you were peppered with people wanting you to say that everyone not in your section of your religious tribe is lost, religiously dishonest, etc. You can gently say that you may see some things differently without trying to bring them to your way of thinking. Arguments rarely move people, anyway. I think the most effective strategy is to out-love, out-serve, and out-live those with whom you disagree.
You describe yourself as a closet progressive by Church of Christ standards. I think that is an important point to emphasize — the most liberal person in the Church of Christ is still very much on the right of the religious world as a whole. Even the most liberal Church of Christ member I know believes in the authority of scripture, the deity of Christ, the need to be disciplined and faithful in their living, etc. Sadly, too many of our brothers believe that if we disagree with them about any point at all, we have abandoned all the law, prophets, Jesus, and probably even secretly kicked Peter’s dog (if he had one). That’s just sad — as well as being intellectually dishonest, slanderous, and silly.
As for once saved always saved and the necessity for baptism, we’ve covered both of those in Tentpegs before. That brings me to the issue that a few have written me about lately: why aren’t the columns categorized for easier searching? Simply put, that would take a few days of my time and I don’t have that kind of time right now. I agree it needs to be done.
June 21st, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Thank you for the question and for your response. Seeing believers outside my tribe out-loving, out-serving, and out-living me and some of us in my tribe is what has caused me to question my long-held “hard-core” belief system. I pray for God’s people truly to be His people – He knows His own.
June 21st, 2009 at 3:18 pm
If we all expressed what we believed on every issue and doctrine, and we had to all agree on every point to worship together, the church could never exist in any form. But a church in which people (not in a competitive way) really did try to out-love / out-serve one another? That would be an awesome place of worship!
June 22nd, 2009 at 8:07 pm
Totally dead on. The system behind disagreement and questioning opinions is great. We grow spiritualy, and it allows us to be able to outreach more. Many believers see things the same as well as different. The different can be the uplifting part at times. I seam to grow every time I read a tentpeg and have a discusion with another (tribe) believer. Spiritual maturity comes with the holding of the tounge… if it causes disruption and bad feelings between Christ followers. I think I read that some where. Faith in action!
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:35 pm
The most important thing about being a Christian is Christ and Christ alone. His word is our standard, things that are not realy in His word are not scripture. On the other hand we have to be careful that we are honest in finding what is mentioned. You can only judge conservative standards by going only by scripture, not made up things. For example salvation in Christ alone is an absolute, its in scripture. Instrumental music nope not realy in scripture. etc…
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:03 am
Why stay in the closet? God may have appointed you to be His messenger of grace and mercy to a group of Christians he cares deeply about. Real friends don’t let friends remain stagnant. Perhaps you telling your story may help others to think for themselves and a move your church forward.
I would agree that if you can’t grow (even on your own) while in the present fellowship then it may be time to move to a congregation that can meet your needs. Those who love you in the old tribe will still love you if you move to a new tribe. Been there, done that. They tell me they miss me, still, after three years but know why moving on was best for me and the old tribe. We’re still friends, brothers and sisters.
I will never agree with everyone in a church…how boring and stale. Give me some that are ahead of me, some where I am and some behind me…it makes for and interesting and vibrant church. When every agrees, its called a cult.
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:55 pm
Sometimes it’s called a cult, Dusty Chris.
Sometimes it’s called a totalitarian state!
June 25th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
Thanks again Patrick. I do relate to the questioner on many levels. And as the others have said I love the phrase about out-loving, out-serving, and out-living those with whom you disagree.
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